Don't feel Inferior

2 days ago I got missed call at 4:30 am in the early morning, its twice... actually at 4:20 am  I was wake up because my alarm was on then i just push the snooze bottom, then continue my sleep untill 05.00 am then wake up for morning prayer. when my phone ring at 4:30 am in the morning, actually i heard it but i am too lazy to pick it up.. because I was very sleepy and still want to sleep more.. then i ignor it (oh, sorry for my ignorance) hehee,, saya juga tahu siapa yang menelpon tapi saya pikir nanti pagi aja saya call her back.. setelah 2 missed call tadi, ternyata dia mengirimkan sms yang bunyinya kurang lebih menginformasikan bahwa " she broke up with her boyfriend then she barely know that her boyfriend is cheating on her" i wasnt suprised because i knew already her boyfriend its Bas Ass, and i told her many many times for not dating with him but she didint hear me, she still expecting her boyfriend to marry her.. ahh... i just want to say " thats what i am talking to you before or i already told you" tapi saya juga menjaga perasaan dia.. jadi saya reply smsnya dengan bilang bahwa dia tu nggak perlu sedih sedih untuk cowo yang nggak pantes menerima itu. nggak usah kepo kepoin cowo itu dengan buka buka twitternya, facebooknya, tanya tanya ke temennya.. udahlahhh.. buktikan aja kalo dengan putus itu hidup dia bisa lebih bahagia.. ya.. saya ngerti sih how our feel after break up, but come on.. Earth is still spinning even though you cry for months, The sun is still shine on, the bird still fly, and so on and so on.. jadi nggak ada pengaruhnya, yang sakit diri kamu sendiri, orang lain itu nggak akan peduli.. ya saran saya sayangilah diri sendiri dengan pergi jauh jauh dari hal hal yang nggak bikin kita dewasa dan nggak bahagia.. 

Nah, kemaren ini saya sms dia untuk coba ajak dia jalan-jalan siapa tau aja sedihnya ilang. Tapi ternyata kemaren itu dia dapet kabar lebih buruk lagi ketimbang diputusin dari pacarnya. she told me that she was no longer allowed to work at the company where he works now. kali ini saya kaget, jadi istilahnya sudah jatuh tertimpa tangga.. what a surprised !!!  she said she want me talk and from the way she spoke in the phone seemed to hold on the tears...saya jadi bertanya tanya. Kenapa ya orang bisa dikasih cobaan yang bertubi2 begitu ya ? kasihan juga sama dia, saya cuma bisa kasih semangat.. yakinin dia kalo semua itu udah jalan terbaik yang Allh berikan buat dia.. she told me that this time is lower spot in her life and she feel so inferior in this world.. ahh , what i am gonna do fo you friend ? i just can say call me when u need me, i always be there for you.. thats all i have..

Think and think and think and then Speak

Please take few seconds to Read this story.. It’s Worth..

A 24 year old boy seeing out from the train’s window shouted…
“Dad, look the trees are going behind!”
Dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behavior with pity, suddenly he again exclaimed…
“Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…
“Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?”
The old man smiled and said…
“I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.”

MORAL : Every single person on the planet has a story. Don’t judge people before you truly know them. The truth might surprise you

Inspiring banget ya cerita diatas,, hehe
Kadang kadang saya selalu ngerasa mulut saya lebih cepat dari pikiran saya, jadi maksudnya, belom dipikir bener bener itu kata kata tapi dah terlanjur dikeluarin. Kebanyakan sih niatnya jokes tapi jatohnya malah menyakiti hati orang lain ya.. upss... !!!

Contohnya gini, 
Dulu waktu saya magang di Departemen Keuangan setiap istirahat maen facebook, tapi maennya bareng bareng karena PC-nya cuma satu. One time kita berlima (sama temen temen magang saya yang satu kampus) lagi liat accountnya salah satu temen saya, kebetulan dibagian foto album. satu demi satu foto di next trus di komentarin trus di next lagi trus dikomentarin lagi terus itu sampe ke satu foto yang nampilih 5 cowo cakep cakep tapi salah satu diantaranya agak kurang cakep dan agak gendut.. saya refleks aja komentar " ini yang gendut item ngerusak pemandangan aja deh" trus temen saya yang punya account facebook itu langsung bilang " itu ade gw Aisyah..." saya langsung "%%&(^)&_^(%*^$@#!"  habis kata-kata cuma bilang maaf, sampe sekarang kalo ketemu dia keingetan terus.. 

Trus, kemaren ini saya juga ngalamin lagi kejadian begitu lagi.. ceritanya gini, waktu jam pulang kantor saya dan 2 temen saya (driver kantor dan bos saya) naik lift untuk turun ke lobby karena memang kantor saya di lat 8. Perjalanan di lift , pintu terbuka di Lat 4 yang masuk ibu2 (45 tahunan lah kira2) trus liftnya ketutup lagi kan, menuju lat 3 ada bunyi dering handphone yang berisik banget, bunyinya kaya lagu dangdut koplo gitu trus kenceng banget itu volumenya kalo kata Syahrini mah itu bunyinya "cetar membahana" hehee.. refleks saya langsung ngomong gini sama driver kantor ( namanya mas Lukman) " mas Lukman, angkat donk telpnya.. ringtonenya norakk banget" trus mas Lukman jawab aja gini " Bukan punya saya Ais.. punya ibu nii" (sambil nunjuk ibu ibu yang dari Lat 4 tadi.. Omigott.. !! saya malu banget cepet cepet mau minta maaf tapi pintu lift keburu terbuka dan ibu ibunya langsung aja ngeluyur pergii.. aduhh nggak enak rasanya kalo ketemu lagi sama ibu itu.. :( 

Tuhh ya.. !! emang bener kan kalo ngomong itu harus dipikir bener2, dari pada nggak manfaat dan tambah tambah menyakiti hati orang lain.. kaya diatas gitu kan jadinya.. 

Too Long :)

Cause you make me feel like, I've been locked out of heaven For too long, Wait too long - BM 

“If pain must come, may it come quickly. Because I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best way possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him.”
Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
- me and 1,551 people liked it - 

Spiritual but not Religious

As-salam mualaikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatu.

Lately i been feeling like a real bad muslim, you know..  !! it is extremely difficult to learn about the purpose of life (religious side). sometimes we do not know what we do or what we have to do untill somebody told us .. 

this blog is contains something on me, thats why i will tell you what i feel right now.. 

There is someone always motivating me to better than i am right now.. I mean spiritually , I did all the things that can make me more intelligent in terms of religion, either read, watch or listen to the muslim radio. but more and more I feel hypocritical here (inside me).. because in fact I still do a lot of mistakes and sins. I am living with my family and they are good Muslim actually, they never forget to ordering me to doing shalat 5 times a day. I pray the obligatory prayers but it's not enough for me. because sometimes I often neglect prayer when I was with a friend of a friend.. its very easy to leave and I did not even feel terrible about that.. Another Example, sometimes i think Its very easy to copy paste islamic messanges as my status or my blog, but very difficult to bring them in my lives.. i feel that i have two faces ? am i true muslim ? BIG NO.. Because many people who understand religion but they never practice it, as well as me.. thats like me.. and thats bad..  the more i focus on certain emotions the more those emotions grow. the more i focus on my faults the more grief  will have over them. 

I know some people say spiritual maturity isn’t measured by how long I’ve been a muslim, or how much I know, or how often I go to mosque. Spiritual maturity is measured by the way I treat other people. It’s measured by the love iallow to operate. thats simple means, when i am walking in love, i treat other people with courtesy and respect. i know thats, but the problem is not about the thing thats can see with eyes, its more about what i feel inside.. 

I think there are three types of religious people: those who doing commandement of islam but still talk about others (Islam KTP maksudnya), those who remind me of Islam, and those me remind me of Allah. The first category is all around me. While they may even come in the guise of muslim teacher, they base their Islam on the denigration of all other people, both Muslim and non-Muslim. thats make  lower my iman and take me farther away from Allah the Exalted. The second category is those who remind me of islam. They may be interesting to listen to or read, and often times they will be of great benefit towards my knowledge and even practice. Nevertheless, they will not raise my iman per sec. because the one in this category are talks on systems, aspects,and even the study of tawheed (oneness of Allah) as a theoretical science, among many other types of talks and discussions. and the third category is those remind me of Allah. They are able to take any conversation away from worldly matters and redirect it back to the Creator of all. They don’t teach tawheed as a theoretical science; rather they explain it practically and realistically. these people , i really need the most.. 

Perhaps it is impossible to be a real muslim every second of our lives, but it is not impossible to try. And in Islam, our efforts are recognized and rewarded, not just the results. The intention is as important as the deed. I think all I need is just try. try to be a good muslim in every situasion, maybe I can never be a real moslem untill I die, but at lease i've try and that makes my life more meaningful and that's all that matter.
Am I a real moslem or not? I don't know...only Allah can decide. 

Manufacturing Hope - Bp. DI

haloooo, are you feeling good ?? mine was great.. hehe

Dua hari lalu , nonton acara berita siang di Tv .. kebetulan ada satu segmen yang saya suka banget .. segmennya itu menceritakan seorang tokoh yang dilihat dari sisi lain kehidupannya, bukan dari posisinya atau jabatan dan profesinya saat ini. Coincidently sang tokoh yang dibahas itu bapak Dahlan Iskan. Jadi si presenternya ngikutin keseharian si Bapak Dahlan Iskan ini dari pagi sampe sore. Saya sebenernya nggak ngefans si sama Bapak Dahlan Iskan (DI) , tapi semakin ke sini saya sering perhatiin tiap kali dia diwawancara, kata katannya selalu low profile dan mengena buat saya.. bagi saya yang masii muda ini rasanya perlu sekali banyak belajar dari beliau tentang bagaimana menjadi orang yang mendahulukan kewajiban dan tegas terhadap lingkungan yang tidak kondusif. 

Pertama kali liat pak DI ini ketika ada acara Talk Show di Global TV namanya "Rossy" sekitar Maret 2010.  Dari pertama kali liat di acara itu saya sudah kagum sama kepribadian dan kata katanya. yang paling saya inget waktu itu ketika dia bilang " Saya tidak ambil gaji saya sebagai Dirut PLN karena saya mau tegas dengan PLN" atau ketika ditanya kenapa nggak pake modil dinas ? pak DI ini memberi jawaban joke , katanya " kebetulan mobil saya lebih bagus dari pada mobil dinas" hehee.. Iya sih  Alpard ya dibanding sama camry.. jaauhhh harganya.. :D tapi sebenernya alasan utama dia nggak pake mobil dinas dan supir karena menurut beliau, dia yang paling tahu kemana dia mau pergi, tidak perlu ada protokoler supaya dia melihat secara real apa yang sebenarnya terjadi dilapangan.. Banyak orang yang bilang itu pencitraan , bagi saya yang belajar marketing ni yah..  sebenarnya sah sah saja beliau melakukan pencitraan. Karena perusahaan besar baik BUMN maupun swasta, perlu ditopang oleh karakter SDM nya yang kuat. Brand besar tanpa karakter manusianya, akan habis. Sama seperti sebuah produk, mau produk apapun itu tanpa adanya periklanan produk itu akan dilupakan masyarakat. Contohnya ni ya :  Tau sari mie kan, brand itu dulu waktu gw kecil raksasa mie instan Indonesia tapi sejak muncul indomie dan kawan - kawannya itu ( mie sedap, mie Abc dll) , Sari mie tergeser market sharenya dari something to nothing.. karena apa coba ? karena brand itu tidak pernah buat iklan, tidak pernah publisitas, tidak pernah pencitraan.. jadi orang itu lupa bahwa ada produk dengan nama sari mie itu dan lama2 produknya nggak laku. Begitu juga BUMN, orang kalo kenal Bp. Dahlan Iskan karena citra yang baik ya otomatis citra BUMN juga ikut baik kan.. kan bagus tu didengernya kalo masyarakat itu tidak antipati malah simpati terhadap lembaga negara.. gitu lho.. balik lagi ke Dahlan Iskan ya.. 

Tau nggak apa yang bikin Pak DI ini selalu semangat ? secara fisik boleh lah dia dibilang tua karena memang umurnya sudah 61 tahun tapi secara hati beliau ini masii muda.. 25 tahun, karena beliau dulu punya penyakit Hepatitis B yang membuat disfungsi hati yang mengharuskan beliau menerima donor hati dari pemuda berusia 20 tahun .. see.. secara hati dia masih muda lho.. panteskan kalo diinterview bersemangat banget.. trus tiap pagi olah raga pake dance gangnam style lagii.. heheh

• Oh iya,, masih banyak lagi sihh kata katanya beliau yang mengena di saya seperti :
• Kita ini mampu melakukan apa saja asal kita mau. Kita sering tidak bisa melakukan sesuatu bukan karena tidak mampu, tapi karena tidak mau!
• Hidup ini harus simple dan hidup ini harus apa adanya , polos polos saja begitu. Kita ini kan pada akhirnya tidak akan menjadi apa2, supaya nanti kalo tidak jadi apa apa lagi tidak usah merasa kehilangan apapun , karena pada akhirnya kita ini harus  kehilangan yang paling mahal yaitu nyawa. Kalo kita sudah latihan tidak keberatan kehilangan apapun, kelak kalo kita dipanggilan Tuhan kitapun tidak akan keberatan kehilangan nyawa itu. 
• Tapi, orang hidup itu tidak boleh pesimistis. Tidak boleh putus asa. La taiasu! La tahzan. Ingat ajaran agama: Berikhtiar itu bukan mubah, bukan sunnah, tetapi wajib!

Dari dulu sampe sekarang saya selalu tertarik dengan jurnalistik, cuma kendalanya saya tidak suka membaca jadi kadang kadang kata yang saya tuliskan itu tidak sesuai pemilihan kata dan maknanya. ketika saya membaca blog bapak DI, bertambah lagi lah kekaguman saya karena beliau bisa dikatakan raja Koran Jawa Timur atau seorang jurnalis senior. pantes saja semua artikel yang ada di blognya sangat sangat menginspirasi dan memotivasi saya sebagai Pembaca. Temen ada yang bilang untuk memperkaya vocabulary bukan hanya dari membaca tapi dari mendengar dan terjun langsung.. hahaha.. ternyata betul juga itu denger radio juga memberikan banyak perbendaharaan kata baru dan kadang kadang memberikan kita arti dari kata kata yang sebenarnya kita tidak tahu.. tapi radio tertentu ya, bukan Radio music dangdut-dangdut gitu hehee. 

Jadi pada intinya begini , saya sangat kagun dengan Bp. Dahlan Iskan dan saya percaya kalo apa yang paling dekat dihati seseorang adalah kata kata, jadi saya berusaha membuat setiap kata kata yang keluar dari mulut saya berarti dan bermanfaat untuk orang lain. walaupun saya tidak menyampaikannya secara langsung. seperti juga Bapak Dahlan Iskan ini berkata kata melalui tulisan tulisannya yang brilliant itu.. ^^

#btw, blog di Update kenapa Tugas kuliah udah seminggu nggak dikerja kerjain ya.. hahaa, nggak bener iniii.. 

I Love Knowing that my Days are Free

I am Bored.. Its like so boring... get up have some breakfast go to work get back from work. watch T.V. late at night. go to bed late and then all over again. from Monday to friday. then , when weekend comes i have to go to collage to finish my study there.. then back again home then meet my T.V and late sleep again and again and again.. even though i have erobic and swimming class on monday and Tuesday after work and sometimes study class on Tuesday and friday  but still i feel stuck on that routine.. I hate routines. I can’t even spell it properly, every time I type it on my keyboard my fingers come up with rountine. For the past 3 months, my life has been full of routines. I swear to all the fish in the oceans, it has never been this bad... its so fucking Bad, I am dying to meet my old friends, hookup with boyfried, talking bla bla bla things.. i need a long day lazy time just for snuggle on my bed with my favorite tv series or having a good time in strange island with my friends or be in the middle of no where and doing stupid thing that makes me feel delight.. ahhh.. i feel like dying for years.. 

And what/who is to blame? my Job ? my Collage ? or my mind ??

There is the one that told me, Boredom really depends upon the person perspective. If you think everyday is a challenge then you won't get bored but if you think everything is just the same old day then you'll get bored. It has something to do with your own mind set.. Definitely yes , there is something wrong with my mind set and i need to fix it.. to overcome this problem , i am googling it then i found one article that inform us how to chance our routines, and they said : 

• Go travel! Go vagabonding! Book a flight and go. No planning except a reservation for the first night in a hostel. Don’t follow the beaten path, find other things to do. That’ll screw all your routines up for sure.
• Move somewhere new. Yes it might be comfortable living in the same place for years and years. All your social networks are there and your job and all. But moving somewhere new, a new city, a new country or even just a new part of the city you life in now can really turn your routines upside down. It’s great. In my whole life, I’ve moved so many times, I lost count. It might be somewhere around 15 to 20 different homes, but I think I might have to write down my moving history to be sure.
• Hang out with different people. Go out and make new friends. Talk to people with different world views and attitudes. Hanging out with the same people all the time might lead to social stagnation. Talking to different people will open you up to new ideas and new experiences.
• Work somewhere new. Unless you have to work in the office of your employer, go and work in a coffee shop or a library instead. Or try working outside in the park. Or find a friend and work somewhere together.
• Change the times you do things. If you exercise in the morning, start exercising at night. If you work during the day, try working on the weekends or at night instead.
• Change your way to work. Get on Google Maps and plan a different route to walk or drive or bike.
• Change your eating habits. If you always go out to eat, try start cooking at home. Get some cook books and off you go.
• Leave the TV off. Entertain yourself with a good book instead or relax with an inspiring TED talk.
• Change your eating schedule. Eat when you are hungry, not when the clock tells you to. Skip breakfast (you don’t need it), have an early lunch, a couple of healthy snacks during the day and a light dinner instead of three proper meals a day at the same time.
• Read different newspapers or online news sites. Read different blogs. Mix up the information you read every day. Focus on one subject a week, then another the week after, and the week after.

ohh yeah, i will do point one, three, five and seven .. because point Two is impossible and either point four then point six and point eight done it and for point nine, heheh i dont even read newspaper regulary.. just read blackberry messanger all day long.. thats one of my source  of boredom.. already have plan for Leave from here for a while on the next weekend. i got nice offered from my friend that asking me to join a trip with her.. she use holiday package for 14 people and they will go to the beach and i hope thats gonna be fun and awesome..